Monday, February 14, 2011

Breakdown

Today I had a breakdown. Not that I haven't had a few in the last eleven days,  but this was like a real breakdown. First came the stress cry that I got under control after only about five minutes (that's a really long time to cry), and then my body and especially my brain only did what was necessary. During the kids' naps I went to my "happy place." I was somewhat blissfully happy for a little bit because my brain wouldn't allow anything else. Then I returned to reality and fell into some crying, although this time instead of being in the "privacy" of the car with John and Malachi, I was at Malachi's school with all of his friends and their parents for the Valentine's Party/Presentation. It was very hard for me to control myself there. I almost wasn't able to do it a few times. My husband was gracious enough to make dinner (well he usually does, but I think he could sense my utter lack of willingness to do it) and after the kids went to bed I drew a bath, lit some candles, and read a book (my "happy place"). I've made it known that sometime soon I need dinner and a movie out with a girlfriend. I'm sure I'll get that with no contest.

Just for a quick update: Malachi's EEG went well. The Dr. will got the results to both tests tonight. We're apparently meeting with him on Thursday at 2:00 but were only informed of this through the Embassy nurse who was informed by our neurologist. I was supposed to bring him the previous test results (the ones done 19 months ago) but when I went to their office today it was closed...at 10:00 a.m. They don't hold normal office hours here...anyway, I digress. So he has nothing to compare them with because I have to work the next two days. Oh well. He'll tell us that there was nothing on the MRI and the EEG and we'll tell him that's what happened last time.

Simon's still teething the 8th tooth, which came in one day last week, but other than that, he's great. Thank God. #3 is moving a ton and I can even now feel him punch and kick at the same time. He's strong too, it's starting to get a bit...uncomfortable. Less than half way to go!

3 comments:

Becky said...

Hang in there Mommy! You have a lot on your plate right now. You and your husband are both awesome to deal with all of this with your little guy. I can't even imagine. You remain in my thoughts and prayers. I hope you get the rest you need.

Sadie said...

Oh Sara! You've been so incredibly strong the past few weeks in the face of so much difficult stuff, you're well-deserving of a bit of a breakdown. I know that doesn't sound all that great, but I think it's just testimony to how well you cope under the stress of things, and your body and mind need a release now and then. Not to mention you're doing all of this while pregnant and being an awesome mommy and wife! I'm sending lots of hugs and warm thoughts. Hope you get that girls' night out soon!!

John said...

Breakdowns are okay. Hard, but okay. Praying for you today and praying that the neurologist gives you some more direction.