Ode to P

This week's topic for the Weekly State Department Blog Roundup (WSDBR) is house help, advice and stories and what not.

I have to admit that when John got the "call" to the Foreign Service in May '09 I got very excited about the possibilities of house help. We already knew we wanted to live in hardship places in order to get Student Loan Repayment Program (also known as SLRP (pronounced slurp), and that meant that we'd be in a place that would make house help affordable. I loved the possibilities open to me...I mean, come on! Who wants to do house work?! Yes, yes, you and you like doing it - but you're rare! I hate, and I mean hate doing housework.

Then the time for packout came, and I felt really weird having someone come pack all of our things. And they had to pack ALL of our things. Partly for security and safety (of them and our things) and partly because they have to fill half a box with paper, even if it's stuffed animals (that is a Sara exaggeration of course - but they use so much paper!). I did get them donuts, and I was nice to them, but it was so weird to sit around that day and watch them do work I could have done.

When we lived at Oakwood it felt like living in a hotel sometimes, one of the reasons being that we had maid services every week. It felt weird at first, being home and having someone else clean the bathrooms, change the sheets and towels, clean the kitchen, and vacuum for us. But it didn't take long to get used to and was a huge blessing in my life because of the pregnancy and then baby.

When we were posted to China we knew that we'd have an ayi (house helper) and were really excited. When our post changed to Costa Rica, we were a bit uncertain about house help, but were excited to learn that it was affordable after all. At first we were a bit lazy about hiring someone. We were just enjoying our new life. And then after about a month we knew...we just knew that we had to hire someone.

The house was really dirty, and I just couldn't keep up with the floors, which is weird, because if there's one thing I actually like doing in the house its floors. There's something so satisfying about it - I think it all started when I got a brand new Oreck vacuum for a wedding present from my in-laws. I just loved making the fun patterns on the carpet...I digress. I contacted our CLO to ask for some recommendations, and to plead with her to make the appointments because John was busy at work and my Spanish was laughable. She was nice enough to do so, even though it's not her job. She made two appointments for that Saturday and we eagerly awaited meeting our new maid...well we hoped we would.

The first person came in that morning and told us she traveled three hours to get there and was only looking for part time work with no kids involved. NOPE! Sorry. She left after 10 minutes. I felt kind of bad that she came so far for nothing. Hopefully she likes being crowded in unairconditioned busses for a really long time.

The second person came that morning and was really nice. She lived close and was great with the kids - who were great with her. We liked what we heard and she liked what she saw. We told her we were going to check her references and get back to her. We were really excited to find out that one of her references was a former FSO here in San Jose. Unfortunately he was on vacation the next week and didn't answer our emails for a couple of weeks, which made me really sad because I wanted her right away. Eventually he emailed us back and said that she was great for the house and with the kids. SOLD! We called her and asked her to start the next Monday.

She originally started at Part-Time with the understanding that she would move to Full Time either after I started working or at the New Year. I quickly knew that I couldn't live without P and that I wanted her at my house all the time. All.The.Time. My husband agreed to more hours when I wanted them, and shortly after I got my job, we moved her to almost full time, and a few weeks ago made it official that she's here full time.

I LOVE having house help. She takes great care of my kids, and loves them. I had some jealousy issues for a while, but I know that my kids are in great hands, and they always prefer me over anyone else.

P is amazing and I don't know what I would do without her. There are some challenges to having someone else do the work you used to do (I didn't it rarely, but I did it, and to my own standards). Your standards might not be the standards of the maid, they might not fold the clothes the same way either. I've learned to not care though - she's doing it and I'm not. Don't get me wrong, I will tell her if I want something changed. For instance, she wasn't cleaning the whole toilet, just the seat and the inside; I've asked her to clean the whole thing.

As previously mentioned, I can't imagine my life without her. And yet, right now I'm imagining my life without her because we may be living in a place where we can't afford an amazing house helper at our next post. Unfortunately she has a son and won't be able to come with us where we go next. I can only hope that we get Manila - because then everyone (John and I) get's what they want.

Children (all 3) Updates

Written Monday night:
Malachi got into the neurologist today at 2:00 p.m. I picked him up from school, which he wasn't very happy about (partly because he's afraid to go to any Dr. because there might be shots, partly because his friend told him that he was going to his house after school - wrong! Not even if there was no Dr. appointment would that happen), and we got to the Dr's office to early, so we walked to a nearby play ground.

We got to the office before John, who joined us about five minutes before the appointment was supposed to start. Fifteen minutes later a woman came out (I'm confused about this. He's a Pediatric Neurologist and her son was sitting alone in the waiting room...), and we were told to go in. He asked us about the event (his English isn't great and my Spanish isn't great, especially in the realm of medical terms, so he and John did most of the talking together), getting very specific, and I felt a little foolish getting into the position that Malachi was in, but once he got an idea of what happened he did a physical exam.

Written Tuesday night:
The physical exam was passed with flying colors, and the Dr. determined that we just needed to increase the amount of medicine that he's given. He gave us a Rx and scheduled an appointment for April (some Dr.'s here schedule their own appointments and then have you inform the receptionist when the appointment is) for another check up. He reassured us that Malachi's "attack" shouldn't cause us any concern, and we should proceed normally (although, who am I kidding, as much as I want to proceed normally, I'll always be watching out of the corner of my eye to see him, and straining my ear to hear him, and occasionally calling out his name if he's too quiet).

Then the best part of the appointment, the announcement that no testing was needed - not even blood tests! So...not only was he fine, but we didn't have to poke or prod! That's definitely the best part. We (Malachi and I) were dreading news of blood or other tests. There were cheers from the two of us!

We left the office, and celebrated the amazing results of the afternoon, and Malachi's great behavior by getting lunch for John and I and dessert for all three of us! Last night I was exhausted and even though that was the case, I didn't go to bed early enough. I did spend a great evening with my wonderful husband though.
Today at work, I was so tired. I had two meetings this morning, the second one running until almost 12:30. By the end of that I was very hungry and almost laying down on the table because my body was so heavy and hard to support. In the afternoon, I chose to go to a meeting just so I wouldn't fall asleep at work.

We left work a bit early so I could make it to an appointment that I had at 5:00 p.m. When I (finally - they always run really late) got into the office, and switched to English after the greetings so I could speak my mind better, I started with I'm exhausted, and he said I look it - I believe him.

We talked about my few questions, and he did the exam: measure the belly, take the blood pressure, listen to the heart beat, weigh the big fat preggo. I say big fat preggo because I gained 3 1/2 kilos this month!! For those not familiar with the metric system that's 7.71617918 pounds! That's way too much for one month and he said the only reason he's not killing me is because so far I'd lost almost that much. My net gain in half the pregnancy is only half a kilo.

I think I may have eaten a few too many Thin Mints this month (who am I kidding, I've had almost five boxes worth in five months...and that's not a joke).

I go in again in about five weeks and get to have another sonogram! I love seeing the baby! I also love that they're not as rigid as Dr.'s in the States about how many times I have to go in. It's cheaper this way.

Oh, and real quick...Simon's improving. He's eating more, and sleeping better.

Trip to the E.R. (and it's not who you thought it would be)

At 4:45 this afternoon I got Simon out of his crib so we could leave for the Super Bowl party that started at 4:30 (oops). He felt really, really hot. He had a fever this morning and we gave him Tylenol. He took an extra long nap and then afterwards felt really, really hot.

We took his temperature, under his arm, and it was 103.something which means his internal temperature was even higher. I called the nurse from the Embassy (we've talked a lot this weekend!) and she said teething doesn't usually cause such high fevers (I was thinking it's just teething because all his symptoms are the same as teething symptoms) but to try Tylenol again and to call the Dr. on his cell if it doesn't go down.

40-ish minutes later we took his temperature again and it had gone up! I couldn't get a hold of the Dr. so I left a message, and called the nurse back who recommended I take him to the E.R.

I arrived at CIMA (great private hospital about 10-15 minutes from our house, depending on traffic (up to 30 minutes) or how I drive) and brought him to the E.R. registration. I waited about two minutes, which felt like an eternity, registered, which took about twenty seconds, and was called back in another two minutes. Simon's temp and weight were taken and we were shown to a room. The Dr came in about two minutes later, asked some questions, did a quick exam and said there was swelling in his left ear and throat as well as some white plaque in his throat, diagnosis: infection. She gave me a Rx for the infection, and a pain relief spray for his throat. She also said to continue the Tylenol for pain and fever. I went to the Pharmacy, got his medicine and came home. Total time in the Hospital: approx. 30 minutes, Total Cost: approx $130. I LOVE private medical care and cost in Costa Rica.

We came home, gave him medicine and a bottle and put him in bed. He gave his kangaroo an extra big hug, and barely made a sound when I left.We'll check on him through the night to make sure he's ok, and pray the fever breaks.

I'm going to shower and go to bed.This weekend has been a bit exhausting. Tomorrow morning we'll call the Neurologist and try to get in as soon as possible.

Friends, Public School and Seizure update

My dear friend (yes I feel like I can call her a friend, no I've never met her, that's just how it is in the State Department Blogging Community) at A Daring Adventure is going through an atrocious situation with the Fairfax County Public School system. She closed comments on this entry in her blog and forced me to publicly chide her for being so apologetic to me and the community. http://adaringadventure.typepad.com/blog/2011/02/discrimination-sorrow-anger-tears-pain.html

She apologized profusely to me because she hadn't been on the blog to update the Roundup Calendar or announce my topic. I said in my roundup entry that I knew something was wrong, and I was right. To my sweet friend who is going through something horrible, please know that we in the community love you and would (should) never hold you to standards that we wouldn't hold ourselves.

I commend you for your restraint, knowing that I would have a very, very hard time holding myself to. When someone offends us it's damaging, but we dust ourselves off and move on. When someone offends/hurts/damages our children we become a force to be reckoned with. My own son has been singled out in our gated community as one who shouldn't be befriended. Three times he's asked/attempted to play with the children here and they've ostracized him every time. Every time I see the kids playing around the community, I glare and dream about them getting a little too close to the car as I drive out (honestly...yes, then I realize that's crazy).

All this to say, that I understand your tears, I understand your need for restraint, and I completely understand your absence the last week and a half. When reading your post about what your son is going through and the horrible treatment you have received from the F.C.P.S. system, I cried. I cried for him, and I cried for you, who after fighting as hard as you can, can only hold him, and do no more. I know that exact feeling, and it's one of the worst in the world.

On that note, I want to thank those who've given their support and prayers for Malachi and our family. So far he's still seizure free during the day (that we know of) so we're going ahead today as if it's normal. John and I will take Malachi to the neurologist this week, hopefully we'll be able to get in. Here's what will happen:

We'll tell him it was a minor event, over short, full recovery. He'll order blood work to check the levels of medicine in his blood, he'll probably order another MRI and EEG (for which I'll probably shave his hair off because during the last EEG application through his hair was really difficult (read this to understand, it's the story of the previous seizure, hospitalization, tests, etc.)). He'll increase the amount of medicine Malachi receives, or add a second medicine, and send us home. Malachi may never have another seizure again, he may have another one on Tuesday. That's one of the worst parts of this, the not knowing.

I'll keep y'all updated on how things go. And for goodness sake somebody please sign up for the Roundup!

My boy

My wonderful and amazing five year old, who is so smart and so sweet, to no fault of his own, can really make me bawl.

Yesterday on the way to the Embassy to get John I heard a familiar noise from Malachi, and although he makes it on his own sometimes looked back to check on him. He was indeed having a seizure. I was stopped at a light but knew I needed to pull over. I said a very quick prayer and looked over to the lane next to me, it was empty - not normal during rush hour on this road - thank you God! I told Malachi that he was ok and that I was going to pull over and get him out (for myself of course, he was unconscious during his seizure). I did exactly that, there was an empty parking lot very close to me, so I pulled in and without even turning the car off, grabbed my cell from it's uber convenient spot to time the seizure and got Malachi out very quickly. I laid his head in the crook of my arm with his body on his side. I looked at my phone to see the time and to call John. By the time I looked back down at Malachi he was closing his eyes and had stopped seizing. I think total, this event was about 30 - 45 seconds. It was very short, with no drool, and was by far the least traumatic seizure for him. Malachi didn't even cry which is abnormal. He used to scream after a seizure.

John answered the phone immediately, probably thinking I had arrived. I told him Malachi had, had a seizure and then I started crying. Between sobs I told him that it was short and he was already done. I got Malachi to respond to a question of mine, told John to call our Embassy nurse (he couldn't get a hold of her), and that I'd be right there to pick him up. I drove to the Embassy often watching Malachi in the rear view mirror. He was definitely still in the postictal state (Wikipedia: The postictal state is the altered state of consciousness that a person enters after experiencing a seizure. It usually lasts between 5 and 30 minutes...), and I was also in the postictal state (read: bawling, controlling myself, bawling, etc.). John was waiting for us outside and when I stepped out, he gave me a big comforting hug and took over the driving.

Over the course of our drive home (about 25 minutes) he had fully recovered and won the "race" to the door. I was a mess the rest of the night, John was my rock, Malachi was showing no sign of any seizure. He had dinner, watched a bit of T.V., and went to bed on time. I hadn't been able to get a hold of the nurse, but she called at 10:30 after she saw our missed calls. We told her what happened and that since he recovered so well, we'd keep an eye on him this weekend, but would wait to call any Dr. or go anywhere until Monday unless he had another event this weekend.

I had a difficult time going to sleep last night, and when I woke up at 4:45, my mind ran right to last night's events. I couldn't go back to sleep.

I thank God that Malachi's ok. I thank God that I was able to pull over, and that his seizure was so short. I thank God that his recovery was full and that it happened in the "right" amount of time.

So far today he's been just his normal self. I, however, have been a little different. I actually cuddled with him for the duration of a movie. I wouldn't normally do that, but I was just thankful to have my boy in my arms.

What does that do for bidding (getting our next job), you ask? It means that we'll probably be going to a more expensive (read: no house help/working for me) country that has great medical care, some possible countries are England, Sweden, Germany and Australia. We get our bid list later this week and we'll hand it in shortly after that. I don't know how long it will take to get our assignment after that, but I think (hope) we'll know by the end of March where we're going.

Weekly State Department Blog Roundup

Due to what MUST be internet or Mandarin issues at the Daring Adventure home, Kolbi hasn't blogged since last Wednesday and hasn't updated the calendar.

That said, our roundup is quite small this week. Which is unfortunate, I was looking forward to some funny and gasp inducing stories of life abroad. The assignment was worst/best/most embarrassing stories of life as an ex-pat.

My quasi prediction at the beginning of the week came true. My story DID happen this week. Luckily for me, I'm the only one who actually experienced this story (I think). I can't imagine what would have happened to my corridor rep at Embassy San Jose if the person I was talking to actually heard me.So here's my most embarrassing story:

I recently dyed my hair dark brown. It's a really good change, and everyone has noticed because it's so different from the blonde highlights that I had before. One of the Locally Employed Staff in the military office, which is next to my office, stopped me as I was walking by and asked me (in Spanish) why I dyed my hair. I thought he asked my why I was walking. I had just returned from using the restroom and was a bit speechless. I really didn't want to tell him, nor did I know how to say in Spanish, that I had to go to the bathroom. So I mumbled a response in English that he didn't understand (due to the mumbling, not the English...his English is great actually) and tried to move on. I then came to find out what he was really asking and gave an embarrassed laugh as I gave my answer, which had nothing to do with going to the bathroom.The situation could've been much worse...much, much worse. But thankfully I got through somewhat gracefully and my really embarrassing story is now only shared with my blog readers...which I don't think includes anyone I work with, except my husband...and maybe not even him.

So...onto other best/worst/most embarrassing ex-pat stories.

Spectrummy Mummy (not the living dead kind, but the English kind) hearkened back to two previous posts she had (great thorough blogging, and good usage of your time!) . One gives a great explanation of a horrible American who works for the USPS, the second is a laugh out loud story involving her daughter, a roller coaster, and some watermelon.

SassAndSweet encompassed her worst and most embarrassing moment into a 10 day hospital stay in Tel Aviv with large amounts of pain killers, a garden hose like tube down her throat, and a good friend who went to get her skivvies from home.

Though she didn't specify, I think this is Melissa's (of Just Us fame) most recent most embarrassing story. When I got through it, I remembered reading it originally and feeling for her, thinking this is something that I would totally do.

Sadie at Sadie Abroad, tells a great story from her junior year in college when she lived in Cape Town, involving the Thai language, a wedding and some balloons. Awesome...awesome story.

Sunny at Fabling tells another laugh out loud story about when she was young and visiting a foreign country.

Off assignment:

Congrats to Andrew at The Life Diplomatic who just passed his Spanish test with a 3/3+ and is now going to Mexico in less than two weeks!

Alex at Travel Orders says he doesn't have any ex-pat stories because he hasn't gone abroad yet, but he's very interested in the diplomatic communities of other countries and the differences between ours and theirs.

Someone please sign up for the roundup next week, you can find the calendar here.

30 Years Ago

30 years ago, about two months before I was born, on a different continent, a magical thing happened. Johnathan was born, and it turns out this magical event was the best thing to ever happen in my life.

Life without you would be boring, and somehow...wrong. Thank you so much for the amazing 13 1/2 years we've had together, the three kids you've given me, and the most promising future I could have.

I love you so much. Happy Birthday Babe.