I don’t want to go

I’ve been involved in the departure of a close friend. She’s leaving very soon and I’ve been with her during her pack out, shipping her car, mailing things to herself in the States and at the next post, and her final mani/pedi. Soon, we’ll go to her final dinner, and I’ll be going with her to the airport.

Today when I was helping her, I was carrying something to her car, and I almost started crying. Mostly out of sadness that she’s leaving. She’s been a rock in my life the last almost two years (she arrived in Manila a week after us). She’s one of the closest friends I’ve ever had. But also because I just had it hit that we’re going to be going through all of these same things very soon.

The departure date that we’re trying to get is not long from now. It’s with-in sight and it’s scary.

It’s scary because there’s so much to do. It’s scary because I’ll be leaving friends who have become family. It’s scary because I don’t know how the children will handle it. It’s scary because I’m going to be moving to a country that I’ve never visited before, and even though it’s a tropical paradise for many honeymooners from the States, I won’t be living on the beach, now, will I?

The good news (because without the good news, how would we live)?

I will get everything done that I need to do. I will meet amazing people in Kingston. The children will see that we are excited to go to the US and to Kingston and they will be excited because of that. I will learn Kingston and the surrounding areas just like I learned the parts of Manila and San Jose and Falls Church and Dallas when I moved to all of them.

So, even though it’s scary, I know that we’ll be ok. We always are.

There may be some uncertainty, but there always is. It’s always hard, but we get past those times.

We will again this time.