My first baby

If you remember, I was on bed rest and waiting for my last baby to develop just enough for him to be safe.

Wednesday pulls around. I am 35 weeks and 2 days into gestation. I’ve been told that I will start the pitocin at 7:00 a.m. which means that at 6:30 I’ll have to start the process of moving to the delivery room and getting the IV placed.

6:30 came and I impatiently waited about ten more minutes for the nurses to come and help me. I was so excited that this was the day I finally got to meet my baby.

The IV went in, and the pitocin started. And I laid there and started labor.

I think my nurse hated pregnant women. She started me on such a high dose of pitocin that I was in full-on labor in less than an hour. In two and a half hours I couldn’t move without assistance because of the pain. Even though I was only at a 2 they decided to give me the epidural.

I thought anesthesiologists were my best friends after that. I was pain free and it was amazing. For the next few hours I laid there and let my body do the work while my brain had no idea the trauma that was going on.

At about 7:00 that night they decided it was time to push. Though the work wasn’t very painful, it was hard work. I wasn’t in great shape and wished I had done more to build stamina.

After a fairly short (50 minute) push time, he joined us in this world. He was amazing. He looked like his father.

He was whisked away.

He struggled breathing a bit.

He didn’t have a name.

I was prepared for this possibility. I was sad, but not crying. I knew they would take care of my baby.

After everyone had gone, and John and I were alone. We named him.

We visited him in the NICU and saw him.

He was so small.

It seemed he had cords and tubes on every surface. I couldn’t hold him, only touch him.

I went to bed.

I had a baby.

My life was forever changed.