What the what?!

In an introductory email to the children’s future school, I wrote the following:

“We have three sons, one who will enter 3rd grade immediately and one who will enter Kindergarten our second year. Our third will enter Kindergarten our last year there.”

After I wrote this, I dropped my head in my hands and realized how crazy it is. My last child will be entering school at our next post. He was born at our last post and he’ll start school at our next one.

It’s true what they say…the years really do go by too quickly.

Privileged

I had the privilege of going last night to the annual reception for LGBT Pride Month at the Ambassador’s Residence.

I met some wonderful people and was able to discuss with them the difficulties of growing up or being Transgender and Lesbian in the Philippines. Unfortunately I didn’t speak with many gay men last night. Though I think I’ve gleaned that it’s easiest for them in the Philippines. From my perspective, I think that’s probably true in the U.S. as well. 

I also spoke to a Dutch man and his partner who are here through work. They said that they are safer in Asia than at home. The violence toward LGBT from Muslims (especially adolescent Muslim boys) is worsening. In Holland! I had such a hard time picturing anywhere in Europe being hostile to LGBT. It was eye opening for me.

I have had very little exposure to Transgender people, so it was nice to spend some time with Trans Women (born men – this was one of my confusions until last night). To hear stories of the difficulties in being accepted growing up was so sad. Happily there were stories also of women whose parents were accepting. I had thought that wouldn’t happen in a country where there are still so many prejudices against the LGBT community. Granted, there’s not as much violence as in other countries. Granted, it was the first country in SEA to celebrate Pride. None the less, the happy stories were to nice to hear.

I was talking to John this morning, and though our kids are young, I still worry about their future. I told him that while I will celebrate my children no matter who they are, part of me wants them to be just…normal (I use that word loosely since normal is so different than it used to be). I fear the bullying and teasing they would go through for being different. I’m encouraged that LGBT’s are accepted now and I think that it will only get better.

However, I know that there’s still hate. There’s still fear of people who are different. There’s still an alarming rate of teen suicides in the U.S. because of bullying and teasing. I want to put my kids in bubble wrap and keep them safe from harm. Unfortunately, I can’t do that.

Instead, I hope to raise them as strong, confident people. Also, kind and caring for their peers. Someone who will stick up for their friends, and show others who a real person is.

This…I think, is not too much to hope for. This…is something I can accomplish. This…I have hope for.

The boys at home in Manila

 

Sorry about the poor quality. My flash was only on for one photo. The boys are still really cute though!

Coen: Oo! A camera!

I’ll come play with it!

Simon: Come here, Brother!

Coen: um…

Coen: Ok, I guess.

Simon: I love you, Brother!

Coen: Your love hurts!

Coen: That’s better.

Simon: TV.

Coen: I wonder if that’s finger tastes as good as he’s making it out to.

Malachi: Yeah…I know I’m awesome. I’m totally

rockin’ the hair.

Good weekend

Since Coen was born our weekends have been difficult. We fight the "crazies" (what we call it when Malachi and Simon have pent up energy and start going crazy, the action is usually followed by the request that they "tone down the crazy.") with trips to the mall to walk around, or to a playground.

Even when we do things like this we can have horrible days where the parents are counting down the minutes until bed time, and depending on children's attitudes that time might come sooner than normal.

But as you can probably tell from the title of this entry this was a good weekend.

Saturday John and the older boys went out in the morning to do some shopping and John and I went out to a dinner party that night with some friends. Sunday afternoon we had a going away party for a Vice Consul that actually has been on a year long TDY in Iraq for the last year. His time is done now, as is his time in Costa Rica, so now he's PCS'ing out.

This morning John and I realized that it was a pretty good weekend with the kids. I think it's because we're starting to get the hang of having three kids.

Finally!!

Epiphany

I had an epiphany this morning while I was feeding Coen: I have three kids, two of them are young and very needy and for a time in my life, I have to take care of two very young, needy kids. And even though I'm tired in the morning, when I have a crying toddler and a crying baby and a husband who's not available, I just have to take care of them. No more whining - just do it.

After I realized that there was a lightness added to my life. I feel released from my fears. I don't feel bad about letting one of them wait for a little bit while I take care of the other. The one that's waiting will be o.k. Crying no longer makes me cringe, I hear it and will take care of them as soon as I can.

I really have three great kids, and I was going to add some photos - but I can't get them to upload.

So lucky

How'd I get so lucky? Coen eats every three hours during the day and only wakes up once or twice at night. He's awake more and more after feedings and even started making noises other than crying. After looking at pictures, it looks like his yellow tint has really gone down a lot.

It seems that the older kids are really starting to like him a lot. Simon even got to hold him today. 

Giving Coen a kiss.

Life with Three

Right now, life with three is easier than expected. Of course Coen isn't doing much, but I truly expected it to be much harder right away.

The last few days have been filled with feedings and diapers for me, and cooking and taking care of the older two for John. Coen is eating tons still, and is spacing out his feedings. Our bosses (my supervisor is married to John's boss) came today to see him.

I'm recovering pretty well. I've been able to even help around the house a little bit. Getting sleep is the hardest thing, although with him spacing out his feedings I got a bit more last night and should get more tonight - I hope.

Malachi is sick. This is horrible for him, but I feel bad because I can't just cuddle up with him. It also means he has to stay away from Coen. That's sad because he loves Coen. Simon may also have the same cold, we're not sure if he's sick or just teething.

Life with three should get very exciting in a few months though.